Thanksgiving Eve, 1888

Happy Founder's Day, Tri Delta! This year, I went to two different Founder's Day dinners, and I have to say: I miss my old Nu Chapter. I mean, the Maryland active chapter invited everyone in the area and did the whole ceremony and it was lovely, and I really do enjoy meeting all the old alumnae. But there's something to your own chapter, your own traditions, your own home.

The DC alumnae, as I've mentioned, are all much younger, and had a much less formal affair. I've enjoyed getting to know them as well, as they are, in general, in my age range and have a similar life situation or have been in this life situation recently. It was also nice, but also not what I am used to.

In other news, Bailey and I had "the talk," as in, at what point do we give up on the dream? At what point do we say, "We're hemorrhaging money and wasting our time"? At what point do we decide that we won't find jobs before we run out of money? So we set a date to move out if we need to do so. I really hope we don't, I am terrified that moving out makes me a failure. Everyone continues to tell me that I am not a failure, that it's not my fault the economy sucks, and so on and so on, but... like, you know. That doesn't pay the bills. It's even hard to find a waitressing job in this town.

I still love the city though. It pretends to be southern, when, in fact, I would say it is quintessentially east coast. My Bostonian office mate tends to disagree and says people in D.C. are "laid-back," but she clearly has no idea. I'm so happy to be back in Kentucky. God, I miss this place. People are so helpful! And not crabby! And not pushy-shovey-in a rush! Gosh. Fantastic. But D.C. is great, too. Just not the same.

Also, yesterday, mom put my adorable 2 year old neice on the phone with me. Mom said things like, "Kyleigh, say 'I love you Aunt Chris!'" And there was repeating of that, among other things. Like "Come HOME, Aunt Chris!" Only, when Kyleigh says it, it comes out like "Ankis." Which is good enough for me. I'm stealing that baby, I swear. It's hard to be away from her and my other two nieces and to know that mom has them over regularly. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot here.

It's going to be weird this year, empty, almost. I lost two grandparents this year. Not that I ever saw Honey on a holiday, but still. Just a break from the way that I think about my family right around the same time everyone spends thinking about their families. And for the first time in my life, I drove all day Wednesday instead of being in place when and where I wanted. It was so convenient, even at its most inconvenient. My holiday routine was a well-oiled machine. This is a new holiday in a lot of ways, a lot of heartbreaking ways.

Mom and I went through some old Facebook photos and saw one that Kate tagged last Thanksgiving of all of us with Granddaddy sitting at the table, him facing out, with all of the rest of us actively engaged in conversation. It really was his time. He just couldn't do the things that he wanted to do, used to be capable of doing, depended on doing. He was frustrated with his body, and his body was not able to respond. It was his time. We also saw pictures of Kate's wedding, which he did not attend and Grandma did, and it really IS her time. Not for the same thing, but you get the point. Woman's in her prime.

This post has turned a lot into my growing pains. I feel I have a lot of those lately. But I have a lot to be grateful for.

1. The family, obviously. I feel this is a cop-out, so I'll break it down and make myself feel better. It's long, so maybe just skip to your section, you blog-skimmer, you.

a. Parents/Step-parent-I've been blessed, really, I don't know why, but somehow I got the perfect set of parents. I think Kate got it right when she said once, "if I had different parents, I would have ended up really messed up." Or something like that. What I'm saying is, genes only go so far, and we have great ones, but Tim just refilled the oil in my car and my dad understands my life situation in a way that makes me feel better about not having to explain, and my mother, well, my mother and I are the same person and I am glad of that because WHAT would I do if she didn't get me? It takes a lot to get me, you know?

b. All four of my grandparents. This is going to get emotional if I go on too long, but I've got a man as stubborn as an ox and his dedicated wife that could move a mountain if she put her mind to it, no lie, on one side, and a hilarious man and a woman that encouraged me in a lot of ways to do what I wanted, but to do it well on the other. As Kate said, "Chris, as I see it, we're nearly indestructible." I am sad to say that the number was cut in half this year, but grateful to have gotten to know all four in my lifetime and to have developed real relationships with them.

c. Siblings, duh. Kate has already come up like a zillion times in this entry, but like. You know? She reads this, so that's awkward. But she was there for everything, literally, and she and her husband, Thomas, who is also incredible, were lobbying me to come live with them in Chicago, and not a lot of siblings would allow that, let alone want that, let alone lobby for it. I lost my chance, but it still meant a lot to me that they were willing to offer themselves up in that way. And they got married this year, and they're so perfect and so perfectly wonderful. Kit is the sweetest little girl I know, I am constantly impressed with her. I feel like every time I see her she tells me something about herself off-handedly that is unexpected and amazing. And Eric, who I think is smarter than me, which maybe I should be less thankful for and more freaked out by? I don't know, but it's kind of cool. He's a really cool kid, has his ducks in a row, is confident. He has girls following him around like impish puppies. I was more impish puppy than Pied Piper myself at thirteen, so holler for old Eric. Not that I think Eric is a rat drowner OR a kidnapper. Even at thirteen.

d. Step-Siblings. I got two sisters and three nieces out of my mother's merger with Tim, and I feel like I couldn't possibly be luckier. I am stealing that baby, I tell you. They're both sweet and offer all kinds of opinions and advice about my plans and the boys I bring home and everything else, whether I ask for it or not (that last part goes for Kate, too).

d. Cousinsssss! At the funeral, Steve and I exchanged eulogies, and Steve was the first person to see it. How do you eulogize someone you've known your whole life? All I could think after was "I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE STORIES ABOUT HIM GRILLING OUT AND OMG GRANDADDY ROY STYLE BAKED POTATOES." But he was really excited about what I wrote. When I sat down, he held my hand and said, "See? I told you it was perfect." He's just a doll. And Anne, I've gotten to know her better since we live in the same city and everything. She cooks for me, and told me that she knew Jon wasn't right for me from the moment we met. And the robot jokes are hilarious. And EA and I are new blog/g-chat buddies, so despite being across the country, we're closer now than I think we've ever been, and I'm going out with her and Emily on Friday, which is also an opportunity to say that I think Emily may be the nicest most adorable person I've ever met, and also the most perfect candidate for a nurse I've ever met. And Mary L, who is brilliant (and knows it, but she's 17 and brilliant, I think I knew it then, too). And Alex, who is finally following in PROUD FAMILY TRADITION and becoming a Wildcat. And is also funny and has always been good looking, which is good because he's got to carry that family name down as the only male cousin. No pressure. I remember reading to him in the sun room, and now he's reading TEXTBOOKS. IN COLLEGE. God.

e. Aunts and Uncles. I got so many of those, I can't tell you. But I guess I gotta try, it's THANKSgiving! But Aunt Jane is the reason why I was able to go to BOTH funerals this fall, and literally would have been unable to attend Honey's at all if it weren't for her, and she's great. She's kooky as all hell, but in a good way, and her heart is in the right place. I feel like that sounds like, "oh we hate her but she has good intentions," which is NOT what I mean. She's fantastic and a sweetheart and her kookiness is just what makes Jane Jane. And Uncle Chunk, who invites me to dinner anytime he hears I might be in Kentucky, and is also part of the funeral-plane-ticket association (a not for profit founded in 2009), and he's sweet and GOD I love that man's accent, and I can hear it especially when he says 'Chrissy-Bug,' which only those two can do. Aunt Vickie & Uncle Jim are the couple I hope to be when I'm old and married off (no longer the spinster), seeing the world and being awesome in general. Denise, who runs the whole family, and the whole family would be run into the ground if it weren't for her. And Tom, who basically gives his life for my grandparents, which I know he doesn't do for me, but seriously I am eternally grateful that someone was there for Danda when he needed help, both with himself and with his wife. Ben, who is BAAAAAAAAACK! And too much fun. He's funny and thoughtful and a great father.

...I think I may just have to be thankful for my family for now. That went on for, like, ever. And it feels like it's midnight and I've just looked up and it is totally not socially acceptable to go to bed yet. Ughhhh. There's always next year to count my blessings, yeah? No, but seriously, I'm going to try to gather some more thoughts together tomorrow.

The Perfect Weekend

So this weekend BC and I went to visit Kerri, one of our sorority sisters, in Virginia Beach this weekend. I swear, it was the perfect perfect weekend.

I had had kind of a rough day at work on Friday, but BC picked me up and we went straight from there to Kerri's house party.

First, she has an INCREDIBLE home. So large and spacious and wonderful. EVEN A GUEST BEDROOM. That is how I will know I've made it in life: I can afford a guest bedroom.

Second, Kerri is one of my favorite people, like, ever. So obviously upon arriving, the entire day's stress was just like...done. And here's Kerri, waving Kamikazes in our faces and making us merry.

So, yeah, Friday immediately upon arrival, we were integrated into the house party and met a bunch of people in Kerri's new hometown. It was a night not unlike my final quarter as an undergraduate, getting silly with a few Tri Deltas and whoever else decides to join in. We even met girls who were DDDs at a different school, which is one of my favorite things in the world.

Saturday we woke up and pretty much had to pry ourselves from the bed. We went to Waffle House and ate too much and talked too much and giggled too much. And ate too much. Seriously.
I hope you believe me next time I say "we ate too much" without my having to physically show our gluttony. We ate all that. BC didn't eat her waffle in the place, but that was the only thing that actually came home as opposed to getting eaten in one sitting (she's weak).

We also drank a lot of Pedialyte, which is not recommended for taste. But nonetheless helped tremendously, along with a post-brunch nap. Holler.

We watched the Buckeyes win a game and then went to the ocean and little touristy shops and a seafood place and it was just a ton of fun. And I love love love BC and Kerri. This is us in front of a giant Posidon statue, one of the symbols of Tri Delta. Unfortunately the random we got to take the picture didn't understand what we meant when we said "please get him in the photo too!" Whatever. It's cute anyway.

Today, we woke up and made a million GHOUL cupcakes!
Unfortunately, they looked better than they tasted. BUT THEY LOOKED SO CUTE! And they were sooo fun to make. (And this is my current computer background.)


We also went to the beach this afternoon and walked around. It was just a lovely time. Unfortunately too cold to swim, but thankfully we didn't burn our bridges with Kerri and we will be back. Hollerrrrrr.


I think that photo about sums up the entire weekend.

Except the part about how I had a dream where I was dating Aaron Carter, and he owned a cupcake store. Bailey and I agreed I probably shouldn't even bother sleeping again, since it can't possibly get any better than that.

Happiness

You know what? I'm happy.

I'm stressed as hell, yes. I had to go to a restaurant down the street to apply for a job as a server because I am worried about the size of my first paycheck, delivered yesterday. I freak out about my grocery bill, because I've never purchased groceries with my own money before. Who knew meat costs so much? And, like, why? Don't they breed chickens by the thousands to lower costs?

Work is great, except. Except. I love the work, the theory of what I'm doing, what I feel like I'm accomplishing, but there's the pace. There are days when everyone is overly stressed out and no one has any time at all to breathe, and then there are days when I spend all my time on gchat. I like PR, I hate agency life.

But you know what? I'm happy.

Jon is...I don't know, the type that buys flowers on a Thursday because. Because it's Thursday, because he's going out of town for a weekend, because. Because. The type of guy that tells me I'm being totally ridiculous when it's deserved, even when I hate hearing it. The type of guy that nags me when I need it and shuts up when I can't hear it.

DC is... I mean, it's the greatest city on earth. I got lost the other day (I blame Jon. So does he. He's just that type of guy.) and ended up in front of the Capitol. And as upset as I was that I had no idea where I was supposed to go from there, which stresses me out to no end, there I was. In front of a building where so much happens, where everything matters and everyone cares. I can't explain the way I feel about it, except that I feel like it's just magic. There's an electric feeling in the air, a breathtaking quality, even aside from the stunning aesthetic. I have always sort of known that I wanted to live here, and there I was. Here I am.

And even the job. I love the work. I love the theory. I think I want to be in communication, I just am quite sure agency life isn't for me. And that's a pretty huge step toward figuring out the rest of my life. And you know what? I'm happy with steps. As long as I'm taking them. Here's to progress! Right?

Am I doubting myself? Yes, of course. But there's also a sense of, you know, here I am. There I was. I'm getting to where I want to be--wherever that is--and knowing that I'm getting there is a sort of achievement on its own. I still get emotional about things like seeing new photos of my nieces. That I won't see until Thanksgiving. That's hard. Thinking that there's a small chance I won't do what I want to do--what I've always done--for Thanksgiving. That's hard. (Thanks to that one guy, I've secured a ride for Thanksgiving via BC. But she's unemployed and hoping to get a job in local news, which would require her to work Thanksgiving. And every other holiday ever. If that happens, I'm SOL, because by the time that happens, flights are likely to be out of my budget. Like they are now, only more so.)

But I feel like growing up is a process, and a painful one, and one that still causes me to get misty-eyed at Twitter updates, text messages, blog posts, Facebook statuses, emails, gchats, and everything. Like hearing that Patrick is at a bar with Tri Deltas, girls that I love with a very dear friend that I miss and haven't seen in far too long. When he visits, I'm used to that meaning that I get to see him. But instead it means he gets to see people I want to see. That's hard too.

But you know what? I chose this. I chose wisely, with a healthy disregard for my emotional safety, with an attachment to a city I never knew could yield things to me the way that it has (an attachment strengthened in a way I never guessed), with the fear of failure that I also think is a little healthy, and with the knowledge that it's entirely possible that I could fall flat on my face. But also with the knowledge that should that happen, I've got a few options. And you know what? Those options are pretty damned good. And I'm happy.

Life in Our Nation's Capital for Real

I guess today is the perfect day for an update. It has been kind of hectic in the nation's capital.

First, the apartment is great. Sir doesn't hate it, which is a plus, and now sleeps on my bed every night. The pill issue is annoying, but I've gotten used to it. If you follow me on the Facebook, there are several pictures posted that sum up the place, and maybe in a less lazy moment I'll put some on here also. Or one of my adorable cat in a tie(!).

Work is really great. I like the type of work I'm doing as well as the type of clients I am working with. It's pretty crazy somedays, and totally quiet others, but all the same, I like the people here a ton and the work is always interesting. In other, less exciting news though, I just found out what this company pays an entry level person. It is not a lot. Like a whole lot of NOT A LOT. To the point where my take home pay as an intern is probably more than what it would be if I were hired on as a real live employee. Kill me now.

The things they say about crazy partiers in this city are true. I went out with the Tri Delta alumnae club here for a happy hour this Tuesday (it was at a little wine and cheese place literally five doors down, couldn't skip!), and was planning to just have a glass. Then everyone else ordered a second, and what am I supposed to do? Then they all decided to go to a bar in the area, and what am I supposed to do? So it's like 10pm on a Tuesday, right, and I'm all, I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW! And they're all, SO DO WE! WELCOME TO DC!

...So yeah, Wednesday morning was my first day as a real DC resident, apparently. I guess McDonald's breakfast in this town does a lot of workday business.

Also, yesterday, I went to a farmer's market that Michelle Obama has been trying to organize for some time, and since it's the first of several this fall, and her pet project (read:White House Victory Garden), she spoke about getting kids to eat healthy and the start of a new program that allows farmer's markets to take WIC and other government food programs; also, when you use those at farmer's markets, you get double your money. Which is cool, because a lot of families on those types of programs can't use their resources for fruits and veggies, which are more expensive in a lot of cases than less nutrious things. Basically, what I'm saying is, I buy all her hype. I have a girl crush on her (like all American women, I think).

AND HOW COOL IS IT THAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT A WHITE HOUSE EVENT AT 1:30 AND WAS THERE BY 3? I LOVE THIS TOWN.

image from dcist.com

Changes

Craziness ensues.

Kate just graduated, which is insane to me. Not as insane as the fact that she's getting MARRIED in SIX DAYS! I don't know, I guess because they were engaged for so long I just kind of felt like it was never happening. And yet here we are, six days away and my only full sister is getting married. Insanity. It's going to be a lovely wedding though, I'm really looking forward to it. I just bought her gift, so it's for real this time. It's a great gift. HA, KATE, HA.

I became an alumna member of DDD. It's so weird, tomorrow I'm not going to chapter but instead I'm going to the Columbus Alumnae meeting. I got really emotional during the alumna ceremony. There's a song we sing at the end of every chapter and ritual and I just kind of misted up a little. Then there's a song the chapter sings after each phase of initiation to commemorate the change in status, and during that I just starting sobbing. I mean, I'm a highly emotional person, so we all knew that was going to happen, but it was still a little embarrassing. People like to tease me about it, but I LOVE TRI DELTA.

It's interesting, Tri Delta doesn't technically consider members "fully initiated" until they become alumnae members. As in, collegiate members have only gone through two phases of the process, and Circle Degree is the third. I really like that about Tri Delta. I think it brings closure to the whole thing, and adds meaning to becoming an alumnae member.

I'm visiting Jon again Memorial Day weekend, which I am really looking forward to. Things have been going well, but I just kind of wish I knew where I was living in a month so that I could know if this even makes sense right now. He's a great guy and I like him a lot, but it can't work if we don't live, you know, less than 400 miles away from one another. So it would be nice to know that kind of thing.

Also during that trip I have informational interviews with a Congressional Office as well as with a DC PR firm. Interestingly, the woman from the PR Firm called while I was at work and left a voicemail explaining that her boss had forwarded her my resume. I had never heard of her, her boss, or her firm. As it turns out, dad's old boss forwarded my resume to the firm. Incredible. Hopefully the interview goes well. What does one wear to an informational interview?

Rough Day

So this Honeybaked Ham thing is working out quite nicely. It may have to, because I got two emails today leading me to believe that I will never have a job. Ever.

1. I got rejected from the DDD position as a Field Consultant, which I kind of expected because I kind of lost the heart for it halfway through, and filled it out because what the hell. I'm not too terribly upset by it, except that...

2. Kraig Kann emailed me back today saying that GOLF CHANNEL is on a hiring freeze.


I am unemployable and inconsolable.

Happy 120th Birthday!

It's the real Founder's Day... Thanksgiving Eve, 1888, Boston Bell Tower (It was actually November 27, so I guess I could just as easily celebrate tomorrow). Sarah Ida Shaw and Elenor Dorcus Pond embraced and said "Tri Delta is founded!" It's cool to be a part of something that has been around and roughly the same for 120 years. I know I'm overly cheesey, but like I said, it is very exciting.

Anyway, today I went to work at HoneyBaked Ham. My job is to show people ham. They tell me, "I have to feed 10 people," and I say, "You'll want 7 pounds of ham," and then I go get a 7 pound ham, and then I unwrap the foil, show them the front, then the side, then rewrap it and bag it, then point to a cash register. It's aaaaaaaawesome. Whatever, it's easy work and pays okay.

Now the entire staff (essentially) is going to Hooter's and I'm going with. The best part? I have a DD, so I'm going to drink a Blue Moon or two. Or... more?

I am feeling a general lack of motivation as far as school goes. I have a LOT of work to do this weekend, and at this motivation level, it will get done laaaaaaaate Sunday night and on into Monday. Woof. I cannot wait for this quarter to be over; none of my classes are really exciting me anymore. I discussed my course in postmodernism and it's lack of anything one might call "sense," but my Communication classes are insane amounts of busy work. I mean, they're easy, but it's just a matter of doing the work--which I don't really want to or feel the need to do. That's kind of a problem in week 8 of 10.

In other (very exciting) news, I got the dress and the shoes, and I am still obsessed with the shoes but could go either way on the dress. I need to decide quickly, however, because ModCloth.com's return policy is kind of strict. So, I need Kate to decide for me if it's a keeper.

Kyleigh (my stepsister Kerrie's 13 month old daughter--Kerrie is married to Greg, who manages the HoneyBaked Ham at which I work) is here and possibly the most adorable child of all time. She's having "wind-down time" at the moment, so I am unable to cuddle her and read to her and play fridge magnets with her (she looooves magnets!), but I did get some time with her yesterday. Babies are incredible. They're so functional and have so much understanding of the world, but can't even speak! THOUGH! She does say "CAT" when she sees my fatso catso, which is possibly the greatest thing I've ever seen. I wish my first word were "Cat." Mom says she thinks it was "Kate," so I'll pretend that it was actually cat. HA.

Is it normal that it bothers me that mom doesn't remember what my actual first word was, she's only kind of guessing? Dad, any insight?

So, many of my friends are on "team mechanic," and I'm torn. I guess I must explain. I had an issue with my axles on my car, and I'd known for a while I needed to get at least the driver side one fixed. So I've gotten several estimates, and they were all around $450 or so. So I finally just sucked it up and took in my car and mentally spent the $450. I'm sure my father will be very excited about that, as he was terrified by the noise my axles were making in August.

Well, I dropped it off at a shop about 3.5 blocks from the sorority house and about 6 blocks from my class that I was off to. I told him to check out the passenger axle and let me know if he thinks it's bad enough to warrant fixing.

Then he insisted on driving me to class. He said, "it's a long walk [again, about 6 blocks], and it's very cold outside." That last part was true, so I let him drive.

He called later and said that yes, it definitely was, but he felt bad upselling me, so he'd do it for $90. INSTEAD OF $220! When I heard him say $90, in my head, it was a $30 discount, then I later realized... no, that's $130. Holy. Crap. He told me he'd have it to me later that day.

He calls again later that day and said that in removing my axle, he noticed that the axle was fused to the bearing and that I had to get a new bearing, but he'd only charge me list price, no labor, so only about $40. Which for a car part is pretty cheap, though I'm not sure how much that particular one generally cost, he again didn't charge me any labor for its installation. He also apologized profusely because I couldn't pick up my car, despite promising it to me. I had told him when I handed over my keys that I needed it by Tuesday of this week so I could get home and didn't care about it any earlier than that. He goes, "Yeah...I know...but...I just feel bad, because I told you you could come in and now you can't."

Then he called me again the next day and said that the valve cover gaskets (?) were also broken and that I shouldn't bother replacing them, but I should be sure to check my oil level constantly. These are two apparently related facts. It would be around $400 to fix it, and he told me it wasn't worth it (this guy owns his own business, and I'm pretty sure if he told me to replace it I would have, or at least asked Tim about it). He also replaced my blown tire (another long and involved story not worth telling) and changed my oil so that adding the new oil from time to time would be more...something mechanic-y. I finally got to pick up my car.

I spent an hour to an hour and a half there talking to him, and I had him look at my shifter that I told him sometimes sticks. He fixed it. He has his bachelor's degree in Criminology from OSU, he's getting his associates in Automobile Maintenace (mostly to claim that he has the coursework), and he wants to work for a car insurance company doing fraud investigation.

..He graduated from OSU in 2006. So...he's young and cute. But if I ask him out, I will have to ask him out. Which means going to the car shop, batting eyelashes embarrasingly, and looking like a doofus. But, he's young and cute (and flirting? I'm really bad at guessing, but he saved me at least $200, and it seems a bit blatant). Patrick says maybe he thinks I'll tell my sorority sisters about him if he's nice. Which I have. Mechanic even said, "you referred people to me before you got your car back? That's very trusting of you." I told him that as long as my tires don't pop off on I-70, I'll be satisfied. He said he almost put that on my final bill but it's a legal document and he didn't want to cause confusion if I have to complain.

Final cost of the two axles, new bearing, oil change, and the spare tire, plus very typically expensive labor? $450.

Oh, and today on my way to work I found out that he also miraculously turned off my check engine light that I was under the impression is constantly on.

So...should I suck it up and ask him out? Where do I take him? Am I in 8th grade?

Anyway, I'm about to go eat wings at the dirtiest place on earth. Holler?

I'm good.

So we had a "risk management" speaker tonight, which is usually a speaker about alcohol or stalking. We did have one once where we had the fire department come in and smoke out our house and we had to crawl through the living room. Tonight, though, this woman who was a Tri Delta talked about her daughter, an Alpha Chi Omega, who was raped and then committed suicide.

It was odd, because the woman was kind of funny. And you're hearing this terribly gory story and she reads this emotional poem her daughter wrote about rape, then she'd talk about something else, then she'd make a joke or something, and it was just incredibly unsettling. She was very good though, and I am glad I went.

Until the end, when she started talking about how about 40% of women who are raped have sex with their attacker again. And she asked, "Why might that be?" And there are a variety of answers, including, "Because a lot of times, rape occurs in a relationship." And I wanted to sink into my chair. I almost had a panic attack; I almost ran out of the auditorium, but I held it together as best I could. Which wasn't that well--I was visibly shaking but I'm not sure anyone noticed.

I guess it was appropriate, then, that I met Alex at Starbucks after (he also went to the speaker). He was the first person I ever told about my experiences in that relationship, and a large part of how I got over it. It's difficult to write about, knowing that my father (!) reads this, but it is what it is. I feel I have gone a long way to recover. If Tri Delta is the reason I got out of the situation, Alex is the reason I am still alive.

The speaker also talked about what it is that a friend in that situation should do, if someone tells them they've been sexually abused, and to a tee, he did that. I will always owe him that. And I cannot end a friendship that has already given me so much. So, while Kate makes an interesting point about the amount of effort I am putting in, and dad makes an interesting point about Cosmo magazine (?!?), I really am incapable of cutting this one out of my life.

Also, Alex texted me today (thank you, Patrick) about getting Brennen's (the local coffee shop, which ended up being closed). It was nice to see him. And talk to him, for real. It was also nice because he could tell the presentation we had both just come from shook me up a bit, and was willing to talk about it just enough to where I got it off my chest but I still avoided crying in public. You can't buy friends like that.

...even if you think that my sorority membership is "buying friends."

Field Consultant

My application to be a field consultant is in the inescapable blue box outside the Tri Delta house. It is irretrievable. No, really, I tried once.

(not a love letter)

Date Party

As it turns out, Brad Reed was a fantastic choice.

As soon as we got to Callahan's, I tripped over this raised stage thing that I totally did not see, 100% sober. And I have a very painful bruise on the top of my foot roughly the size of Texas. And if I flex my feet it hurts. It was kind of comical, though, because I tripped over the stair and threw my drink essentially across the floor, and one of my heels went flying off and Brad had to go get it. I'm not sure how many people saw that one, but I'm sure they got some amount of enjoyment out of it.
Also, my pointer is sore swollen and I don't really know why.

After Date Party, we went to the O and drank beers and talked about GOLF CHANNEL, law school, and USG. I told him he made the right choice. He talked about how hard it was and how he felt like he had let me down. I told him the universe let him down and he shouldn't worry about me at all.

Upon returning, I drunk IMed my father.

Me: dad?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!
Dad: yes?

Dad: how was the date?
Me: I LOVE DADDY

Me: HE WAS FUN
Me: I AM DRUNK SAYUCE

Dad: i see.

Me: ahhhhhhhhhhha

Dad: sayuce?

Me: yopu know like hot saucr

Me: drunk sauce
Dad: ok. doesn't make sense to me, but hey, it's been a while since i was in college
Me: im glad if i live in orlando i will be close to daddy thats yopu
Dad: i'd like that
Me: evn though i hate orland o ttoursists
Me: so mny of them
Dad: traffic is miserable, but hey, no state income tax.

Me: how is erics girlllll?
Dad: haven't grilled him yet.
Me: yay florida another swing stat e my voyte still counts i love it
Me: ok

Me: i have to go now
Dad: g'night.
Me: i love you soooo much daddy i miss living iwht you in florida beaches and daddy best summer ver
Me: and pool and weather miss you

Me: and also i miss [his address in florida]
Dad: me too. i'm glad we had the chance.
Me: #[apartment number]

Me: yessss

Dad: you can still visit.
Dad: or stay, if you haven't gotten a job by the summer.
Dad: i'd kick you out after a few months, though.

Then I proceeded to call him. HA.

All in all though, a great night with all kinds of crazy. I love it.

A photo of me and Brad:
(I'll try to find a suitable full-length photo as soon as possible, but the current ones are all of me doing the cactus, and... I mean... I'm not sure I want to post photos of the cactus on my blog...)

Tri Delta = Field Consultants and Date Parties

Every time I see the word PARTIES, I think of Pirates of Penzance. Only my father would know why, and it is entirely because he ruined me as a child.

Tonight is date party, and I'm currently putting off getting ready because I hate being ready early for this kind of thing. I sit around in my dress and get nervous about whether it looks right or if I should touch up my makeup just one more time, and fix my hair overmuch, even though it looked fine to begin with, thereby ruining the look altogether... yeah. So I'm blogging instead.

I'm taking Brad Reed, former head of the Reed/Dennis USG ticket... we were so going to win. It still kind of bothers me that we didn't run. We would have kicked ass, but I guess that's just the way life goes. But my dress is adorable and that's what's really important.

Also, we had a field consultant in for Tri Delta last weekend, as I mentioned earlier, and things went well. And I sort of flirted with the idea of applying for it again (I thought about it quite a bit last year, but thought it might be a bad idea since it's only a one year appointment and pay is low). So...I am in the process of applying to be a DDD FC. (Holler.) Also, our chapter alumna advisor applied and got the job, but ended up turning it down because she got a big kid job at United Way. She said that if nothing else, the application process is really fun and worth doing. And since I have no idea whether I am a viable candidate for any position at GOLF CHANNEL, I suppose I should apply for anything and everything that comes my way. Hence, Field Consultant application. Here's to Tri Delta!

It might actually be awesome. You get to travel the country (and Canada!) and see all these schools and local Tri Delta chapters...I think I would love it. So I guess we'll see how it turns out.

Happy Founder's Day, Tri Delta!

I love Founder's Day. Technically, Tri Delta was founded on Thanksgiving Eve, 1888, but we celebrate annually the first Monday of the month of November.

I don't know, it's something about the fact that there are 80 year old women who make it in to celebrate something they started over 50 years ago. Something about the fact that I've never met these women, but they are my sisters. Something about the fact that they heard the same exact ritual I did Lord knows how many years ago. Old Tri Delta women are fabulous. (Love you, Nanny :D)

Tomorrow is election day. I am kind of excited about it; I can't wait to watch 5,000 hours of Chris Matthews and Tom Brokaw and the MSNBC crew (liberal that I am) talk politics, talk results. I am such a geek sometimes it makes my head hurt.

I additionally realized (which I intellectually knew but I guess I never admitted it to myself) that my Jags provided the Bengals their FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON. I give up on football entirely. Go Redlegs? Sigh, I guess I need to just give up on sports altogether. We'll see how the golf season goes, but at this rate I may just need to live a sports-less life.

I also just realized I only took one earring out after Founder's Day, which means I've been walking around with one giant pearl in for some amount of time, like some sorority pirate. I'm pretty sure I need to go to bed. I EVEN WENT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS.

Postmodernism, Voter Pledges, and Hot Apple Cider

Today I did an extraordinary amount of nothing. Postmodernist authors, apparently, would call that "productivity," which is to be contrasted with very little amounts of nothing, which they might call "laziness."

...This is my way of reaching out. My English class makes me want to kill myself. I guess I'm too much a modernist to enjoy this course at all. I mean, in Gatsby, the God-forsaken green light meant something. I like that. I like trying to figure out where all the pieces fit and why everything was written just so, as opposed to some alternate way, and why the character's name is what it is, because the author couldn't possibly have just named him George to name him George, it all means something!

(Yes, I realize I just made fun of my entire life philosophy and everything I as an English major stand for in writing that. I also realize that my life is a joke, which I think is the one thing that makes me marketable in the real world.)

Aside from reading nonsensical rants by authors considered geniuses by the literarily "enlightened," I am dedicating way too much time to OSU Votes. Today I stood outside for two hours asking people to sign pledges saying that they will vote. I obtained a total of 17 pledges. This, sadly, was more than the other two girls with whom I was standing outside in the cold weather, sans gloves. Yay Ohio, it's supposed to be 60+ on Friday.

But seriously, 17 pledges in 2 hours? If I didn't know these OSU Votes people, and I wasn't being harassed with phone calls on the regular, I would tell myself this is entirely ridiculous.

Fun facts: people that sign pledges to vote are 10% more likely to do so. If a person they know contacts them about voting, they are 15% more likely to vote.*

After learning that exciting bit of information, I went home and very nearly just went to bed. This is more exhausting than reading Italo Calvino's If on a winter's night a traveler, which, I kid you not, starts with the sentence "You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler." I couldn't make this shit up. Fucking meta-fiction.

(The back says Italo Calvino "...shows that the novel is capable of endless mutations." Is that even desirable?)

So this is why my life is what it is. Plus the heat isn't on in the house yet, because we have boiler system and we have to have some guy who knows about boiler systems come out and turn the boiler system on. The other fun thing about the boiler system is that once a boiler system is turned on, the heat is on. Forever. Well, until you pay that same some guy who knows about boiler systems to come out again and turn the boiler system back off. So... since the appointment for the some guy to come turn our boiler system on is set for tomorrow, when it is 60+ on Friday, our lovely and wonderful boiler system will still be running, heating our lovely and wonderful house.

Regardless, it's cold now and I'm typing this in gloves, which leads to about 8,000 typos a minute, thus increasing my typing time (along with decreasing the likelihood that I will ever read Italo Calvino's If on a winter's night a traveler). I'm also fighting drafty windows and a lack of heat by drinking an average of one Hot Apple Cider a day, depleting my funds but making me very happy. When I say "an average of," what I actually mean is "at least." It's not a cheap addiction, but at least it doesn't cause any (known) long-term effects.

On a side note, we have a Field Consultant from Tri Delta's executive office coming this weekend. That's right folks, we're going to be judged on a whole host of criterion, including but not limited to hospitality and sisterhood, on one of the biggest drinking weekends of the year. Couldn't she have come for Michigan weekend? (Totally kidding, I think.) At least by then the heat will be on (or at least I hope so; otherwise I'm moving out).

We also have a girl in from the University of Alabama staying at our chapter house while she volunteers for John McCain. Yeeeeeesh. You're staying in a house full of women while you volunteer for a man that voted against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act?

At least she's a nice girl. At Alabama, they have TG's twice a week(!). We asked, "every week?" and she goes, "well, sometimes we don't have one on Tuesday, but for sure every Thursday." These people also go to school. Not that I personally don't drink twice a week, but TG's twice a week? Are these girls passing their classes?

*This is the kind of thing they say to me to guilt me into freezing my ass off for a total of 17 pledges. When I asked one girl if she had voted yet, and she said "no, but I'm going to," I asked her to sign the pledge and she asked, "Why?!" God damn it.

P.S. Kate--because of the frequency of TG's at Alabama, they have sweet themes, like 00Delta, where they dressed like Bond and Bond girls, and War and Peace, where they dressed like Army Guys and nurses. Just makes you wish you were a Tri-D at 'Bama, doesn't it? Go ahead and put on your radical feminist hat and tell me about how you won't pierce your baby's ears, I'm ready for it.

For those of you that have never met Kate, she once described herself in an email as "your feminazi bonerkiller sister." (G-search that one, Kate, I think you'll be proud of yourself.)

"Everyone Looks Weird in the Wintertime"

I guess I haven’t really written anything on what has been saving my sanity of late, Tri Delta.

I met with Stephanie Gent for the Penn State Game at Panini’s, and heard all about her totally fab life in DC. When I told her about Alex, she responded with stories of her and Gene the Jew, who decided they couldn’t marry because (among other reasons, but chiefly) she loved Jesus. She said, “it totally ruined my life, then I got over it.” I mean, she was drunk, but that’s great stuff. I miss her.

Steph is, of course, the reason I became a Tri Delta in the first place; she taught me what it meant to be Greek outside of the drinking and the boys and all the craziness.

I feel like Tri Delta got me through everything, and I don’t know where I’d be without the girls in this house (past and present). I got out of an abusive relationship my sophomore year because they taught me my value, and it is the girls in this house pulling me out of my funk now. I recognize, of course, that I sound like a cheeseball, but I can’t help it. I know that I am in this house for a reason, and that I am not totally damaged because of their help.

Holler.