I mean...right?

I have turned into a waste of space, just for the record.

For the love, I am sitting here in the house (which doesn't have heat just yet...awesome) and not doing a list of assignments about a mile long. Also, it is a very dear friend's 21st tonight at midnight and I just may end up going out to buy her a booze. Totally unapologetically. (Don't worry too much daddy, I'm still doing just fine in school).

It's my senior year, right? Live it up. (And drink it down? Seriously.)

On a side note, I hung out with Alex most of the day today. It was kind of nice, but also kind of dissatisfying in that I wanted to hold his hand or kiss him and I know that he doesn't feel the same anymore. Ugh. But it is nice to talk to him because he understands me in a way that no one else really does; also, he doesn't roll his eyes when I tell him that I'm hanging out with him, unlike some of my sorority sisters.

Is it a bad idea to ask Alex to Tri Delta's Date Party? I feel like maybe it would have been fun, but Patrick tells me it would end in disaster. Hard to say, because now I've asked someone else. I did tell Alex that he absolutely must come to Formal next quarter and he did roll his eyes at that one. Oh, well, I'll break him down.

Is it even possible to be friends with this guy, with all the givens? I get mixed answers to that question, and I have a mixed feeling about my own answer. Parts of today were so natural, so platonic, but then we'd walk from one place to another and I just felt out of place. I don't know, I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all I suppose.

I'll figure out where to go from here, right?

I mean...right?