New Beginnings

I don't even know where to begin on new beginnings. I'm actually in a really weird place in my life right now, just having broken up with a boy I thought I was going to marry (and even made jokes about marrying before we dated), and beginning my senior year at The Ohio State University.

I guess I have concerns, like the fact that I'm not sure how people meet one another out of college. In college, there's Facebook and everyone has mutual friends (often linked through Facebook) where you can get a kind of "background check" on guys you meet randomly. I realize I sound like a crazy person and/or a Lifetime Original Movie character screaming "my biological clock is ticking!!!" but legitimately, how am I ever going to meet someone?

Also, how long before I stop crying randomly in the middle of the day, or when I get drunk in front of Thomas Nye (oh, God, what a disaster). Thomas is marrying my sister in about 6 months, and I am terrified that I will never have my own wedding. I hear myself saying this, and again, I feel unreasonable in a big way, but I can't help it. He's wonderful in a big way (again, he took care of me in Larry's, so major points) and I just don't know if I'll find my own Thomas Nye. How long before I even feel comfortable dating again? How long until I'm over this?

My other major concern at this point is that as I begin the end of my collegiate career, I think my major was maybe a poor choice. Everyone says it doesn't matter what your major is anymore, you can do anything, but then I turn around and everyone says that a Bachelor's Degree is the new GED. Should I be concerned about being under-prepared for the real world? Really?

That said, I finally got the nerve to call Kraig Kann, host of GOLF CHANNEL's Sprint Post-Game Show, among other things, and he basically told me he'd shop my resume for me around the place. He also gave me a list of people to whom I should send additional copies. He seemed really invested, which I feel is weird given that he has, like, a life and stuff. Regardless, it was probably the greatest 20 minutes of my life, and I may have peed my pants a little. Then about 5 minutes later he called me back and told me he wanted me to talk to someone else because "she may have a lot more insight to offer." Incredible, yeah? I talked to Kelly Miller for quite some time as well, and am excited to see where this goes.

Nonetheless, it is really difficult to write a cover letter when you don't know to whom you are writing and there's no specific position for which you are applying. Quite the assignment, no?

But I am getting more sure that the GOLF CHANNEL is where I want to be, despite the difficulties with media and job security. I try to tell myself that Alex had nothing to do with me not wanting to work there--and I legitimately do believe that--but the timing with the turn around does seem a little odd. When we got serious, I kind of abandoned that dream, though that coincided roughly with my internship at NBC-4 and the 14 firings they laid out on my last day. And now he's gone and I've decided that I want to go back, though this coincides roughly with my trip to the Ryder Cup and the restoration of my passion for the game of golf. Good GOD that was an amazing tournament. Plus Hunter Mahan went undefeated, gotta like that.

Well I have a giant midterm tomorrow that is stressing me out, so. Study time? (Much more likely? Bedtime)