I went to church for the second time in all of my college career today. I mean, I go when I'm at home, but I haven't really gone since I've been here. It was nice, especially since lately I feel very off-center. I left feeling really great, but then I got home and stuff just got weird again.
Regardless, fun story from church:
At the beginning of the service, they have a youth message where all the kids come up and the youth pastor tells a Bible story. Today they were talking about King Solomon, and the pastor said, "And God said to Solomon, anything you need or want, all you have to do is ask!" (Gasping from the kids). "What would you ask for if you could ask for anything at all?" And this very young girl shouts, very loudly, "CANDY!!!!"
Amazing.
The thing I like about the Presbyterian Church is that they are so positive. Presbyterians don't harp about sin or Jesus dying. I know that this is a fundamental part of the Christian faith, but so is Jesus' life. And I feel like there is much more to learn from His life than from His death. And I like those lessons, and I feel like a lot of denominations spend more time talking about His death than His life, and miss out on a lot of good parts.
Today's sermon was entitled "Life Before Death," and was about how we should all celebrate our lives while we have the opportunity to live them. He encouraged us to make lists of 10 things we want to achieve before dying and how we should start today with the first of them. That's the Presbyterian Church to me. Celebrate life! Thank God!
That said, I had a very rough day. I'm texting Alex at the present moment telling him that I can't be in a friendship where I feel like he doesn't care. He told me not to take it personally, he's not the type to reach out to people. I know that, but is that my fault? Should I be responsible for maintaining that friendship when he's just "not the type" to call me first? It's like when people are like, "Oh, that's just the way she is..." and my response to that is, "Well, great, but does that mean I have to like her?" (Kim Prather circa 8th grade comes to mind).
I mean, don't get me wrong, I do like Alex and I would like to be friends with him, but I can't be friends with someone who functions in friendship the way that he does.
I hate rambling about Alex, I feel like it makes me sound pathetic.
Celebrate Life! Thank God!
November 23, 2008
Maybe Cosmo was right, accidentally
I went to Smith Hall on Mirror Lake Night to witness some of the chaos, and ran into Alex's little sister on the elevator. It was really hard seeing her, mostly because I thought for a very long time I would become a part of her family. I wanted that.
I have come to the realization that I can't be friends with him, not because I can't be friends with my ex-boyfriend (sorry dad, I just refuse to accept that answer), but because he is a terrible friend.
I sent him an email asking how his GRE went and how the fam is, and how life in general is going, and he sent back an incredibly awkward email. He doesn't call; I only ever see him or talk to him if I contact him first...It's exhausting. I just sort of feel like, you know, if you don't care enough to call me, what happens when I don't make the effort? What happens if I neglect to call you? Are we still friends, even if I haven't talked you in months? Would you let it get to that point?
Patrick thinks I just don't understand how Alex functions in friendship. It's not that I'm comparing our friendship to our relationship, it's that I'm comparing our friendship to my needs in a friendship. I need to feel like I'm not the only one that cares about the friendship at all.
The thing about it is, why am I maintaining this friendship anyway? I feel like he needs it more than I do, and yet...he just lets it go. For weeks. I'm not sure if that's a terrible thing to say, but seriously, in the city of Columbus alone, I live in a house with 40 girls, about half of whom call me on a regular basis, about 2/3 of whom know Alex well enough to know how devastated I am about the whole thing, and he has...Joe. So am I being condescending when I say he needs the friendship more than I do? Maybe. But maybe I should stop worrying about it anyway and just get some sleep.
I just don't like that my only other option with him is to cut him out of my life completely. Can't there be another answer? Like, you know, him calling me?
I have come to the realization that I can't be friends with him, not because I can't be friends with my ex-boyfriend (sorry dad, I just refuse to accept that answer), but because he is a terrible friend.
I sent him an email asking how his GRE went and how the fam is, and how life in general is going, and he sent back an incredibly awkward email. He doesn't call; I only ever see him or talk to him if I contact him first...It's exhausting. I just sort of feel like, you know, if you don't care enough to call me, what happens when I don't make the effort? What happens if I neglect to call you? Are we still friends, even if I haven't talked you in months? Would you let it get to that point?
Patrick thinks I just don't understand how Alex functions in friendship. It's not that I'm comparing our friendship to our relationship, it's that I'm comparing our friendship to my needs in a friendship. I need to feel like I'm not the only one that cares about the friendship at all.
The thing about it is, why am I maintaining this friendship anyway? I feel like he needs it more than I do, and yet...he just lets it go. For weeks. I'm not sure if that's a terrible thing to say, but seriously, in the city of Columbus alone, I live in a house with 40 girls, about half of whom call me on a regular basis, about 2/3 of whom know Alex well enough to know how devastated I am about the whole thing, and he has...Joe. So am I being condescending when I say he needs the friendship more than I do? Maybe. But maybe I should stop worrying about it anyway and just get some sleep.
I just don't like that my only other option with him is to cut him out of my life completely. Can't there be another answer? Like, you know, him calling me?
November 21, 2008
Um, Obsessed
Ok, so I also overspent a bit on a dress and shoes "For Eric's Bar Mitzvah," but more so "for me to own for the rest of my adorably well-dressed life."
Tell me what an incredibly good decision it was, please?
Tell me what an incredibly good decision it was, please?
Mirror Lake Night
Oh goodness.
It's Mirror Lake Night, which is the night on which Buckeyes run to a lake roughly the size of a living room in their skivvies (or less) and jump in. Regardless of, you know, snow. This requires an intense amount of booze and stupidity. I did it last year, and this year I decided that once was enough. Mostly due to, you know, snow.
I really only found one good picture (love the tag on there), and it doesn't really begin to describe the scene. The sheer magnitude of people is just incredible. Like I said, I did it last year, and I still was astonished by the number of people willing to jump into a freezing cold (very nearly literally) lake just to be a part of a tradition. It's indescribable.
That's the kind of tradition-lovers we are here at Ohio State. GO BUCKEYES.
(My roommates are very drunk at the moment. Kelly is singing me "Have I told you Lately that I Love You?" Surprisingly, she knows more words than just "Have I told you lately that I love you?" so, that's pretty impressive.)
On an entirely different note, I made the cast of The Vagina Monologues! I'm very excited, especially since two of my sorority sisters also made it. My monologue is "I was there in the room," which is about a woman who is in the room as her daughter gives birth.
It's funny because during auditions, you had to pick two monologues to read from, and I chose two entirely different ones, and one of the women goes, "Can you do 'I was there in the room'? I think I'd really like to see you do that one." Holler.
My sorority sister is "My Angry Vagina." By sorority sister, I mean Kelly, the same girl STILL singing to me.
Oh goodness.
It's Mirror Lake Night, which is the night on which Buckeyes run to a lake roughly the size of a living room in their skivvies (or less) and jump in. Regardless of, you know, snow. This requires an intense amount of booze and stupidity. I did it last year, and this year I decided that once was enough. Mostly due to, you know, snow.
I really only found one good picture (love the tag on there), and it doesn't really begin to describe the scene. The sheer magnitude of people is just incredible. Like I said, I did it last year, and I still was astonished by the number of people willing to jump into a freezing cold (very nearly literally) lake just to be a part of a tradition. It's indescribable.
That's the kind of tradition-lovers we are here at Ohio State. GO BUCKEYES.
(My roommates are very drunk at the moment. Kelly is singing me "Have I told you Lately that I Love You?" Surprisingly, she knows more words than just "Have I told you lately that I love you?" so, that's pretty impressive.)
On an entirely different note, I made the cast of The Vagina Monologues! I'm very excited, especially since two of my sorority sisters also made it. My monologue is "I was there in the room," which is about a woman who is in the room as her daughter gives birth.
It's funny because during auditions, you had to pick two monologues to read from, and I chose two entirely different ones, and one of the women goes, "Can you do 'I was there in the room'? I think I'd really like to see you do that one." Holler.
My sorority sister is "My Angry Vagina." By sorority sister, I mean Kelly, the same girl STILL singing to me.
Oh goodness.
November 10, 2008
Field Consultant
My application to be a field consultant is in the inescapable blue box outside the Tri Delta house. It is irretrievable. No, really, I tried once.
(not a love letter)
(not a love letter)
November 08, 2008
Date Party
As it turns out, Brad Reed was a fantastic choice.
As soon as we got to Callahan's, I tripped over this raised stage thing that I totally did not see, 100% sober. And I have a very painful bruise on the top of my foot roughly the size of Texas. And if I flex my feet it hurts. It was kind of comical, though, because I tripped over the stair and threw my drink essentially across the floor, and one of my heels went flying off and Brad had to go get it. I'm not sure how many people saw that one, but I'm sure they got some amount of enjoyment out of it.
Also, my pointer is sore swollen and I don't really know why.
After Date Party, we went to the O and drank beers and talked about GOLF CHANNEL, law school, and USG. I told him he made the right choice. He talked about how hard it was and how he felt like he had let me down. I told him the universe let him down and he shouldn't worry about me at all.
Upon returning, I drunk IMed my father.
Me: dad?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!
Dad: yes?
Dad: or stay, if you haven't gotten a job by the summer.
Dad: i'd kick you out after a few months, though.
Then I proceeded to call him. HA.
All in all though, a great night with all kinds of crazy. I love it.
A photo of me and Brad:
(I'll try to find a suitable full-length photo as soon as possible, but the current ones are all of me doing the cactus, and... I mean... I'm not sure I want to post photos of the cactus on my blog...)
As soon as we got to Callahan's, I tripped over this raised stage thing that I totally did not see, 100% sober. And I have a very painful bruise on the top of my foot roughly the size of Texas. And if I flex my feet it hurts. It was kind of comical, though, because I tripped over the stair and threw my drink essentially across the floor, and one of my heels went flying off and Brad had to go get it. I'm not sure how many people saw that one, but I'm sure they got some amount of enjoyment out of it.
Also, my pointer is sore swollen and I don't really know why.
After Date Party, we went to the O and drank beers and talked about GOLF CHANNEL, law school, and USG. I told him he made the right choice. He talked about how hard it was and how he felt like he had let me down. I told him the universe let him down and he shouldn't worry about me at all.
Upon returning, I drunk IMed my father.
Me: dad?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!
Dad: yes?
Dad: how was the date?
Me: I LOVE DADDY
Me: I LOVE DADDY
Me: HE WAS FUN
Me: I AM DRUNK SAYUCE
Me: I AM DRUNK SAYUCE
Dad: i see.
Dad: ok. doesn't make sense to me, but hey, it's been a while since i was in college
Me: im glad if i live in orlando i will be close to daddy thats yopu
Dad: i'd like that
Me: evn though i hate orland o ttoursists
Me: so mny of them
Dad: traffic is miserable, but hey, no state income tax.
Dad: g'night.
Me: i love you soooo much daddy i miss living iwht you in florida beaches and daddy best summer ver
Me: and pool and weather
miss you
Dad: you can still visit. Me: ahhhhhhhhhhha
Dad: sayuce?Me: yopu know like hot saucr
Me: drunk sauceDad: ok. doesn't make sense to me, but hey, it's been a while since i was in college
Me: im glad if i live in orlando i will be close to daddy thats yopu
Dad: i'd like that
Me: evn though i hate orland o ttoursists
Me: so mny of them
Dad: traffic is miserable, but hey, no state income tax.
Me: how is erics girlllll?
Dad: haven't grilled him yet.
Me: yay florida another swing stat e my voyte still counts i love it
Me: ok
Me: i have to go nowDad: haven't grilled him yet.
Me: yay florida another swing stat e my voyte still counts i love it
Me: ok
Dad: g'night.
Me: i love you soooo much daddy i miss living iwht you in florida beaches and daddy best summer ver
Me: and pool and weather
Me: and also i miss [his address in florida]
Dad: me too. i'm glad we had the chance.
Me: #[apartment number]
Me: yessssDad: me too. i'm glad we had the chance.
Me: #[apartment number]
Dad: or stay, if you haven't gotten a job by the summer.
Dad: i'd kick you out after a few months, though.
Then I proceeded to call him. HA.
All in all though, a great night with all kinds of crazy. I love it.
A photo of me and Brad:
(I'll try to find a suitable full-length photo as soon as possible, but the current ones are all of me doing the cactus, and... I mean... I'm not sure I want to post photos of the cactus on my blog...)
November 07, 2008
Tri Delta = Field Consultants and Date Parties
Every time I see the word PARTIES, I think of Pirates of Penzance. Only my father would know why, and it is entirely because he ruined me as a child.
Tonight is date party, and I'm currently putting off getting ready because I hate being ready early for this kind of thing. I sit around in my dress and get nervous about whether it looks right or if I should touch up my makeup just one more time, and fix my hair overmuch, even though it looked fine to begin with, thereby ruining the look altogether... yeah. So I'm blogging instead.
I'm taking Brad Reed, former head of the Reed/Dennis USG ticket... we were so going to win. It still kind of bothers me that we didn't run. We would have kicked ass, but I guess that's just the way life goes. But my dress is adorable and that's what's really important.
Also, we had a field consultant in for Tri Delta last weekend, as I mentioned earlier, and things went well. And I sort of flirted with the idea of applying for it again (I thought about it quite a bit last year, but thought it might be a bad idea since it's only a one year appointment and pay is low). So...I am in the process of applying to be a DDD FC. (Holler.) Also, our chapter alumna advisor applied and got the job, but ended up turning it down because she got a big kid job at United Way. She said that if nothing else, the application process is really fun and worth doing. And since I have no idea whether I am a viable candidate for any position at GOLF CHANNEL, I suppose I should apply for anything and everything that comes my way. Hence, Field Consultant application. Here's to Tri Delta!
It might actually be awesome. You get to travel the country (and Canada!) and see all these schools and local Tri Delta chapters...I think I would love it. So I guess we'll see how it turns out.
Tonight is date party, and I'm currently putting off getting ready because I hate being ready early for this kind of thing. I sit around in my dress and get nervous about whether it looks right or if I should touch up my makeup just one more time, and fix my hair overmuch, even though it looked fine to begin with, thereby ruining the look altogether... yeah. So I'm blogging instead.
I'm taking Brad Reed, former head of the Reed/Dennis USG ticket... we were so going to win. It still kind of bothers me that we didn't run. We would have kicked ass, but I guess that's just the way life goes. But my dress is adorable and that's what's really important.
Also, we had a field consultant in for Tri Delta last weekend, as I mentioned earlier, and things went well. And I sort of flirted with the idea of applying for it again (I thought about it quite a bit last year, but thought it might be a bad idea since it's only a one year appointment and pay is low). So...I am in the process of applying to be a DDD FC. (Holler.) Also, our chapter alumna advisor applied and got the job, but ended up turning it down because she got a big kid job at United Way. She said that if nothing else, the application process is really fun and worth doing. And since I have no idea whether I am a viable candidate for any position at GOLF CHANNEL, I suppose I should apply for anything and everything that comes my way. Hence, Field Consultant application. Here's to Tri Delta!
It might actually be awesome. You get to travel the country (and Canada!) and see all these schools and local Tri Delta chapters...I think I would love it. So I guess we'll see how it turns out.
November 05, 2008
Barack Obama
It's kind of cliche of me to write about Barack Obama right now, but I don't care. I feel like I had a part in this, as silly as it sounds. For the first time in my life, I voted for a president and for the first time in my life I am excited about who our president actually is (my first political memory is of Monica Lewinsky...). I feel like this is my generation's president, and my generation's time. I am incredibly excited.
Of course, I celebrated by going to the bar with a sorority sister after watching his speech and having way too much fun. When we walked outside (in Obama shirts, of course), people were shouting and cheering and all kinds of excited. People in Obama pins and shirts were high-fiving us and chanting his name...just incredible.
And by the way, GOOD LORD that man can speaaaaaaaaaak! I misted up a bit; I even got goosebumps watching Hardball with Chris Matthews today when they showed like a 30 second clip (the part about "I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your president too"). He's just incredible. I'm so excited.
ALSO. The New York Times today had a special section on elections, and the front picture, in full color, above the fold is....RABBIT HASH, Kentucky. Which is about 10 minutes from my house. It was a feature on a bunch of different polling places, and Rabbit Hash holds theirs in the Rabbit Hash General Store, so it was kind of a funny image. They also (though this wasn't featured in the NYT) elect an animal for mayor every year. This year a dog won out. There were 16 candidates, and one of them was human. He came in 15th place. Nice.
In other news, I have a midterm tomorrow for which I can't figure out if I'm over-prepared or under-prepared. I guess I'll figure that one out soon enough, eh?
Of course, I celebrated by going to the bar with a sorority sister after watching his speech and having way too much fun. When we walked outside (in Obama shirts, of course), people were shouting and cheering and all kinds of excited. People in Obama pins and shirts were high-fiving us and chanting his name...just incredible.
And by the way, GOOD LORD that man can speaaaaaaaaaak! I misted up a bit; I even got goosebumps watching Hardball with Chris Matthews today when they showed like a 30 second clip (the part about "I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your president too"). He's just incredible. I'm so excited.
ALSO. The New York Times today had a special section on elections, and the front picture, in full color, above the fold is....RABBIT HASH, Kentucky. Which is about 10 minutes from my house. It was a feature on a bunch of different polling places, and Rabbit Hash holds theirs in the Rabbit Hash General Store, so it was kind of a funny image. They also (though this wasn't featured in the NYT) elect an animal for mayor every year. This year a dog won out. There were 16 candidates, and one of them was human. He came in 15th place. Nice.
In other news, I have a midterm tomorrow for which I can't figure out if I'm over-prepared or under-prepared. I guess I'll figure that one out soon enough, eh?
November 04, 2008
Happy Founder's Day, Tri Delta!
I love Founder's Day. Technically, Tri Delta was founded on Thanksgiving Eve, 1888, but we celebrate annually the first Monday of the month of November.
I don't know, it's something about the fact that there are 80 year old women who make it in to celebrate something they started over 50 years ago. Something about the fact that I've never met these women, but they are my sisters. Something about the fact that they heard the same exact ritual I did Lord knows how many years ago. Old Tri Delta women are fabulous. (Love you, Nanny :D)
Tomorrow is election day. I am kind of excited about it; I can't wait to watch 5,000 hours of Chris Matthews and Tom Brokaw and the MSNBC crew (liberal that I am) talk politics, talk results. I am such a geek sometimes it makes my head hurt.
I additionally realized (which I intellectually knew but I guess I never admitted it to myself) that my Jags provided the Bengals their FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON. I give up on football entirely. Go Redlegs? Sigh, I guess I need to just give up on sports altogether. We'll see how the golf season goes, but at this rate I may just need to live a sports-less life.
I also just realized I only took one earring out after Founder's Day, which means I've been walking around with one giant pearl in for some amount of time, like some sorority pirate. I'm pretty sure I need to go to bed. I EVEN WENT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS.
I don't know, it's something about the fact that there are 80 year old women who make it in to celebrate something they started over 50 years ago. Something about the fact that I've never met these women, but they are my sisters. Something about the fact that they heard the same exact ritual I did Lord knows how many years ago. Old Tri Delta women are fabulous. (Love you, Nanny :D)
Tomorrow is election day. I am kind of excited about it; I can't wait to watch 5,000 hours of Chris Matthews and Tom Brokaw and the MSNBC crew (liberal that I am) talk politics, talk results. I am such a geek sometimes it makes my head hurt.
I additionally realized (which I intellectually knew but I guess I never admitted it to myself) that my Jags provided the Bengals their FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON. I give up on football entirely. Go Redlegs? Sigh, I guess I need to just give up on sports altogether. We'll see how the golf season goes, but at this rate I may just need to live a sports-less life.
I also just realized I only took one earring out after Founder's Day, which means I've been walking around with one giant pearl in for some amount of time, like some sorority pirate. I'm pretty sure I need to go to bed. I EVEN WENT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS.
November 02, 2008
Oh, Jaguars, you are such a disappointment.
My EFFING Jaguars lost to the Bengals, just a week after losing to the Browns. How does this happen, honestly?
So my weekend was totally out of control crazy and I don't even know where to begin. I don't know what it is, maybe being newly single or maybe the crazy Halloween atmosphere... I don't know, but I feel like I need to get my act together and I'm not sure how to do that.
Also, I kissed William (about 6 years late) and despite the fact that I can choose whether I see him ever again, I still feel awkward about it. (As a background, I took this guy to Sadie's junior year and he really never got over me to my knowledge. We kind of became friends but there was that weird element to it that kept us from ever getting close.) So I ran into him at OU and I guess it was just one of those things. It's funny, our timing has never been right--I'm star-crossed with a guy whose surname is Montague. Only me, right? (Well, and Miss Capulet too I suppose.)
Things are so weird. So weird.
So my weekend was totally out of control crazy and I don't even know where to begin. I don't know what it is, maybe being newly single or maybe the crazy Halloween atmosphere... I don't know, but I feel like I need to get my act together and I'm not sure how to do that.
Also, I kissed William (about 6 years late) and despite the fact that I can choose whether I see him ever again, I still feel awkward about it. (As a background, I took this guy to Sadie's junior year and he really never got over me to my knowledge. We kind of became friends but there was that weird element to it that kept us from ever getting close.) So I ran into him at OU and I guess it was just one of those things. It's funny, our timing has never been right--I'm star-crossed with a guy whose surname is Montague. Only me, right? (Well, and Miss Capulet too I suppose.)
Things are so weird. So weird.
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